乌云盖雪

乌云盖雪

看君终日常安卧,何事纷纷去又回?
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Blank

When it was drizzling tonight, I lay on the bed for a while. During this time, I didn't do anything, just trying to think about something. But now I forget what I was thinking at that time, or maybe I wasn't thinking about anything, just daydreaming, or just repeating what I had thought before. Regardless of which one it was, it is now a blank memory for me. Looking back on the past, there are many such blanks in my life, some lasting a few hours, some lasting a few months, or even a year. These blanks are gradually increasing and expanding intermittently, even if life stops moving forward, they will increase and expand due to continuous forgetting.

A person's life is composed of external experiences and internal activities. My external experiences are just like that. But where are the internal activities? It can be said that my inner self is constantly experiencing and going through something every moment, but I only remember the recent events that happened in my inner self. The more distant ones are only fragmented and vague impressions. My inner self is like a shooting star crossing the sky, constantly experiencing events, dragging a short tail of memory, moving forward aimlessly.

Whether it is external or internal, most of my life is composed of blanks.

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