Most people pursue success with the ultimate goal of obtaining some kind of relationship, such as a romantic relationship, the attention and respect of others, etc. These relationships are also built upon a certain level of success. Look at the beggars on the street, who would want to establish those relationships with them? Career, achievements, wealth, fame, etc. are to me like the light to a gecko. Love, friendship, and other relationships are to me like those flying insects to a gecko. You see them flying towards you, but in reality, they are just attracted to the light. And I am like that poor little creature that depends on the light (career) and feeds on the flying insects (relationships), but has little autonomy. If you want to harvest love, friendship, and other social relationships and maintain them, you need to find the light called career that can bring you these relationships and hold onto it. So why do we need these relationships? I think it may be to escape loneliness. Although relationships are very abstract, without them, one feels uncomfortable all over. This may be the true situation of most people's lives.
I remembered some words from Amas:
Many people have enough money, food, and work, as well as the affirmation and appreciation of others, but 99% of them are still unhappy. Nevertheless, we still believe that we are the 1% of people. If I can get what I want, I will be happy.
In fact, the 1% who have achieved a state of fulfillment don't care much about worldly achievements. That's why they feel fulfilled. Their happiness does not come from wealth, status, or partners.
I'm not saying that achievements, wealth, and status are bad things. I'm saying that they themselves have no real substance. In fact, all activities in life—achievements, situations, and relationships—are all empty. If you don't exist within them, they are all empty things. This is the basic law of life.
Your career, interests, and relationships are all important, but they only have true significance when they can guide you to a deep understanding of yourself. Otherwise, they are irrelevant.
Happiness ultimately depends on oneself, although career and relationships also have an impact. It is best not to have conflicts among the three, otherwise, it is difficult to be happy.
Unlike oneself, career and relationships are external things. They are not a matter of choice, but rather a matter of priority and position (order).
If you cannot change yourself to fit into your career and relationships, then it is best to let yourself determine your career and relationships, with yourself at the center and career and relationships on the periphery. This combination is the most comfortable.