Human experience can be divided into two types: external and internal. External experience refers to the things we have gone through, while internal experience refers to the experiences within our hearts, which can be called "spiritual experience". External experience is generally related to age - the older we are, the more experiences we have and the richer our experience becomes. However, the correlation between spiritual experience and age is not as high. Some people may be young and have few experiences, but their spiritual experience can still be rich. Pigsy eating ginseng fruit without knowing its taste is clearly not on the same level as the sensitive Lin Daiyu. If they were to fall in love, the former may need to have ten experiences to match the inner feelings and experiences of the latter. Some people may have gone through many things, but these experiences only affect their external experience and do not have any impact on their spiritual experience.
Some people's hearts are like iron balls, while others are like dough. If they are rolled on the ground, the pits and marks left behind are their "spiritual experience". Even if they go through the same experience (rolling on the ground), the spiritual experience gained by the iron ball and the dough will be different. The reason lies in their sensitivity. However, if the iron ball rolls far more times than the dough, it can also gain more "spiritual experience" than the dough. From this, we can deduce the following formula: spiritual experience ∝ external experience × sensitivity, meaning that spiritual experience is directly proportional to external experience and sensitivity. Sensitivity is the key factor that transforms external experiences into spiritual experience.
When observing a person, it is important to not only consider the experiences they have gone through but also their internal spiritual experience. This is something that takes time to manifest in interpersonal relationships because the spiritual experience is not always visible externally.
There was once a belief that in order to become a writer, one must have rich external life experiences. However, I believe this is not entirely true. While rich external experiences can be advantageous and a bonus for writing, they are not a necessary condition. For example, Zhang Ailing became a writer at a young age without much external life experience. Similarly, Franz Kafka and Fernando Pessoa worked as clerks in fixed positions throughout their lives, never married, and had simple love experiences. Their life experiences were relatively simple, but this did not hinder them from becoming outstanding writers. Becoming a writer does not necessarily require rich external life experiences, but it does require rich internal spiritual experience. Even if external experiences are rich, if they cannot be transformed into internal spiritual experience, they are meaningless. People with strong sensitivity have an innate advantage in writing, while those with less sensitivity can compensate through experiencing more things. In any case, a rich spiritual experience is necessary.
According to the formula mentioned above, there are two ways to expand spiritual experience: experiencing more things, including both personal experiences and indirect experiences through others, and improving the sensitivity of the heart. Regarding the sensitivity of the heart, at least two factors can influence it.
One is repetition. As I mentioned in my article "Repetition and Feelings", a person's senses and spiritual experience are like a delicate instrument. The more they are exposed to the same stimuli, the more worn out they become, and their sensitivity and responsiveness decrease. One way to remedy this after severe wear and tear is to pause and switch to a different type of stimulus for a period of time, and then switch back. This allows the sensitivity and responsiveness to recover.
The other factor is memory. Memory is the result of wear and tear on the instrument of the mind, or it can be compared to the pits and marks left on the iron ball or dough after rolling on the ground. Old memories can hinder the emergence of new feelings. Why are children or young people more sensitive and perceptive, while as they grow older, they gradually become dull and numb? It is because they have not experienced much and have few memories about life. Therefore, theoretically, if a person can forget or eliminate some memories and return to a state similar to childhood memories, would their sensitivity of the heart also be restored to that state?