★ I hope that people who are not good at socializing can gain strength and relieve their distress from the text below.
In social interactions, some people beg while others give. Most people do both, begging at times and giving at other times.
Begging is proactive, as the beggar receives what they want from the giver. However, while they are taking, they are also giving. They give the giver the opportunity to give, which brings the giver a certain joy and satisfaction.
Giving is passive. The giver appears to be giving, but they also receive something in return. The giver finds joy and satisfaction in meeting the needs and desires of the beggar.
The giver's happiness is built upon the beggar. Without the beggar begging from them, their desires and love have nowhere to go, and their worth cannot be demonstrated. At this point, they often transform into a beggar themselves.
Begging is both taking and giving; giving is both giving and receiving. There is no essential difference between the two.
In social interactions, whether begging or giving, the essence is to gain happiness and satisfaction from external relationships. When you rely on the external world, you become a slave to the environment, and your mental freedom is eroded. This plants the seeds of suffering in your life.
This does not mean that we should avoid socializing. Rather, it means not to place too much importance on social interactions. Socializing is a form of interpersonal relationships, and happiness built upon interpersonal relationships is fragile. Einstein said that true happiness should be built within oneself, on a foundation that is not easily shaken. This way, even if you encounter major changes in social or interpersonal relationships, it will not greatly affect your happiness.
So, how can happiness be built within oneself? And what does it mean to build it on external foundations? In my understanding, let me give an example. A writer considers creativity as the main source of their happiness, while a scientist sees scientific research as the deepest refuge for their soul. This is building happiness within oneself. On the other hand, if you consider a romantic relationship or marriage as the most important aspect of your life, then you are building happiness on external foundations.
As a side note, the happiness of most Chinese people is built upon money and blood relationships. Although this is the most stable among all external things and relationships, it still has its limitations, which is the "external" aspect. Therefore, in my opinion, even if they can obtain this kind of happiness, it is still a humble happiness.
Although I understand these principles and try to convince myself, I still find it difficult to put them into practice.