Li Yinhe believes that there are two types of love: one is the attraction of opposites, and the other is the attraction of similarities.
I think that the attraction of opposites is like finding a complementary other half, this kind of love has tension and is easy to spark, it tastes like intoxicating liquor; the attraction of similarities is actually like finding a soulmate, another version of oneself in the world, this kind of love tastes like a lingering cup of tea.
Some people prefer to find a partner with different personalities, while others prefer to find someone with similar personalities. The former (attraction of opposites) is curious and enjoys understanding others, and is eager to explore the unknown; the latter (attraction of similarities) is somewhat narcissistic, wanting to be understood and craving for recognition.
In reality, these are two extreme situations, and most relationships fall somewhere in between.
If I were to say that the second situation, the attraction of similarities, cannot be considered true love, it is more like a relationship similar to a friend or a soulmate, it would definitely meet with opposition from many people. Psychologist Amas' "pitfall theory" about love actually assumes the first situation mentioned above, a complementary relationship, and completely ignores the second situation. The following passage can help us understand his pitfall theory in a brief and simple way:
"When you establish an intimate relationship with someone, you use that person to fill your void. Once the relationship ends, you feel that the thing that filled the void is gone, and you lose a part of yourself. Because the previously filled void is now exposed again, that is why you feel so much pain."
According to Amas' pitfall theory, when a relationship ends, the pain of the first situation is much greater than that of the second situation, because the former is complementary while the latter overlaps.